Howdy there, pardner. As you might coulda guessed from the bump on my noggin it’s health and happiness time again in our neck of the woods. Was wondering if I could come and sit with you for a spell.
Thank you for inviting me in, big 'un. No matter what else might be going on, it’s always fair weather when pals like us get together. You letting me into your home, it just makes it feel like the sun shines a little brighter, makes the day’s work a little lighter.
Say, I’m awful thirsty. You mind if I rosin up my bow? Much obliged. Just needed something to warsh my aspirin down. Got more pills in my mouth than I do teeth nowadays. Ain’t it a shame. A man sure does get tired of his wife beating him over the head with a frying pan. She hit me so hard just now she like to split my skull in two. This hatband’s the only thing holding my head together. Well, that and a little bit of spirit gum.
I see you got one of them little old Hawaiian guitars standing up there in the corner. Okay if I pick at it for a minute? You’re too kind, neighbor.
Here I am, the lovesick blues boy, singing the same old tune, the one with all the suffering in it. If she was here right now, I’ll bet she’d be singing a little song that’d sound to us like it sorta was wrote like an answer to this 'un I sung just now. She’d be singing to you about how I been upsetting her nervous system. How I been spending too many late nights on the Hadacol caravan. How I’m the one who drove her into the arms of that broke-down old mailman. But she cain't sing worth a lick, so I guess the joke’s on him, ain’t it?
And there you have it. Well, friend, it looks like that clock’s gone all the way around again. And that means it’s time for me to get my satchel and go. Take care of yourself and if the good Lord’s willing and the creek don’t rise, I’ll see you here again 'fore long.
John Waddy Bullion’s writing has appeared or is forthcoming in BULL, HAD, the Texas Review, Hunger Mountain, and Vol 1. Brooklyn, among other fine places. He lives in Fort Worth, Texas, with his family. Visit him online at johnwaddybullion.com.